This is a maid of honor toast delivered from the fuselage of a Black Hawk helicopter, hovering just above the DJ booth. Clad in a watermelon A-line and blood orange bandoliers, she’s reeling off apple-tart anecdotes and cherry glaze jokes, shouting above the chopper’s slate-and-spice rotor blades. Rhubarb sorbet, cardamom cake-toppers, pink Starburst, and sour cherry cufflinks, flying around the room. And if you’re impressed by her cool composure now, just wait until she holds back tears while landing it on the dance floor.
